moving forward, but not in a straight line

Sometimes it feels like I am way off track, things are strange or going wrong, my rational brain is concerned that all is a mess or falling apart -- I just don't get what is happening.

Then a series of synchronicities, or convolutions happen, and everything seems to snap into place, and usually a much better place than I imagined or even hoped for:
A lost job means a new opportunity, a disrupted relationship means new, more loving communication, a chance off-the-path meeting means a whole new way to get my art into the world. . . .

It's a sort of spiral path that way - seems like things are way off track, but really they are just getting closer and closer to center and wholeness.
Keeping track of things in my journal really helps me see this pattern.
I am so not a linear person, and the straight and narrow is never a way that attracts me or feels right to me.
The beauty of the spiral is it always ends up right where it is supposed to be, and the path is beautiful and elegant.
Just as it should be.

It just takes some faith that all will be well again, all will be well.



“This seems to be the law of progress in everything we do; it moves along a spiral rather than a perpendicular; we seem to be actually going out of the way, and yet it turns out that we were really moving upward all the time.” --Frances E. Willard

Jung had an art journal!

Huge news is breaking - and I am just amazed but not really at all surprised. Our old friend, Carl Jung, the man who gave us massive changes in the way we view the psyche with his ideas about archetypes and the collective unconscious, kept a personal art journal. He used a big red leather book to mine his own inner feelings, dreams, inner journeys and fantasies for many many years. He recorded all this in a large, very detailed leather volume, which was kept in a bank vault.
The book was kept secret, and his family has suppressed it's publication because they felt it was all too private and very non-rational. (surprise, surprise.)
Well, guess what, world, this book is about to be unveiled. Early in October, it will be published for us all to read.
Also awesome is that the actual book will be on display, yes, on display for us all to see, and not only on display, but at the very museum where my daughter interned this summer, the Rubin Museum in New York City.
I feel like this is such a personal gift - I will be there at the opening, and hopefully take some photos.
In the meantime, you can read all about this book, and how it came to be published in this very good New York Times magazine article:

The Holy Grail of the Unconscious

and here is a page which shows Jung's style was very detailed and colorful, an inspiration to all of us who work in creative journals:



“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.” --Carl Gustav Jung

We are facets of the creative force in the Universe. . . .

I am learning how our perception creates our reality.
If we imagine the worst, we might get the worst.
If we imagine the best, we might get the best.
We may as well look into the world, and see the best.
Our current media does not support looking at the best -- they seem to use fear to attract viewers and thus make more money. Their goal is not to enlighten, but sort of to darken, in order to keep their money flow strong.

Even in school, we got the message that if you shine too bright, you will threaten the structure -- to be where you are supposed to be quiet in your seat cranking out the papers that regurgitate what the teacher told you. That creativity belongs to the few creative geniuses, not to the individual.

We need to counteract this with our vision - we need to add lightness to our perception so we add light to the world.
I am so deeply learning this for myself. If I look for the worst, I will see it. If I look for beauty and light in all things, I will see that.
Yes, there are some toxins out there, but our focus does not need to be on the bad stuff.
Our lives can follow our joy and our bliss and our passion and then we have meaning. Then we have joy.
If you don't have passion or joy in your life, you will end up seeking external help for this - the advertisers really cash in on this, and lure us with all their stuff so we think if we get this new thing, we will feel that passion and joy again.
Instead, we just are in debt and have too much stuff in our closets.

So following our own inner joy and bliss is actually essential to the health of the planet!
So go enjoy yourself today - make some art, sing a song, shine your light and hug someone you love. . . .

Look for joy and you will find it.



"Everything in the universe is a pitcher brimming with wisdom and beauty." --Rumi

We are all in this together. . . .

and if we really knew this, and acted on it, we would have such infinite acceptance of our selves and our own path toward knowing who we are and how we fit into the world.



"The spirit of rejection finds its support in the consciousness of separateness; the spirit of acceptance finds its base in the consciousness of unity." --Rabindranath Tagore

Today . . . .

"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all." --Emily Dickinson

You find what you look for.

Once a very wise friend said to me you usually find what you look for. I was complaining about something or other, and he pointed out this simple truth to me in response.
And I have been working with that notion a lot lately -- right now my family life is in transition, and it is a choice to greet these new life circumstances with wonder and trust that a newer greener pasture awaits, or sink into negativity over the job/money/housing stress.

I
Choose
joy.

It really is a choice.
For me, my work in my journal is a chance to affirm this each day:
Creativity Counts.
Making a colorful, meaningful "mess" in collage in my art journal is my way of saying YES to the world.
and I really have learned if I look for love, kindness, connection, and bliss, I will find these things.
The sky is blue.
A pink flower blooms from the cracks.
When I come in the front door, my fluffy dog greets me with more enthusiasm than I can imagine.
Life goes on.

Why would I want to only find the bad parts of this one short adventure?



"When it's over, I want to say: all my life 
I was a bride, married to amazement. 
I was a bridegroom, taking the world into my arms." --Mary Oliver

What makes you insanely happy?

What makes you insanely happy?
That is your calling.
What makes you insanely happy?
That is your purpose.
What makes you insanely happy?
That is where you need to put your attention.
What makes you insanely happy?
Go there today!
(in health and wisdom . . . . )



"This luminous chaos of divine thoughts and feelings is called enthusiasm." --Friedrich Von Schlegel

Where are you going today?

“Over-preparation is the foe of inspiration” --Napoleon Bonaparte

W.W.F.D.

I know I have blogged before on the question "What Would Frida Do?" but it really does bear repeating.
I often go to other artists' work for inspiration -- we saw an amazing documentary about three guitarists: The Edge, Jack White, and Jimmy Page, called "It Might Get Loud." They are talking about guitars mostly, but really, they talk about the creative process. I got so much out of this movie. . . . . but the main thing would be -- do your thing.
You have a voice, a unique voice, and if you follow it to the extreme, if you are sure this is you and that you need to express whatever it is in you, you will succeed.
The trick is that the success you find might be just that you find your voice.
Money, fame, all that other tinsel, can't even be the goal. It might be the by-product, but if it is the goal, the unique calling of your own voice is going to be mightily challenged.
Authenticity does not come when chasing money, for most of us. Some lucky few might hit gold with their art, but if that is the goal, the process will be very compromised.

Jack White, especially, was so inspirational in his story, and the way he just does what he does, and does it to the extreme. I have been listening to White Stripes and really understanding the beautiful simplicity in the music, and the raw power of his self expression.
I am planning on bringing this attitude to my own collage work.

Attitude.
That's a big part of it.

I think Frida got that -- look at her self portraits, and the attitude just screams out at you.
Thank you Frida.



"It is a myth that art has to be sold. It is not like stocking a grocery store where people fill a pushcart. Art is a product that has no apparent need. The salesperson builds the need in the mind of the buyer." --Jack White

why make art?

If Shakespeare had just stayed in Stratford-upon-Avon, worked for his father and been true to his wife and four children, we would not now have Hamlet.
If Van Gogh had stayed in the Hague selling art for his uncle, we would not now have Starry Nights.
If Frida Kahlo had let her back pain stop keep her in bed, we would not now have her amazing self portraits.
If B.B. King had stayed in Mississippi and helped his father farm, we would not now have his transcendent blues guitar riffs.

Art does not make sense, or probably even money.
Do it anyway.
Working in an art journal is a chance to dialog with your art.
You talk to it, it talks back.
It is a gift you give to the world when you work and work and work at this dialog.
What are you going to say in your journal today?
What does your journal want to tell you today?
You might not ever even see the benefits, the legacy you leave.
Do It Anyway.



"What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered." --Ralph Waldo Emerson

Choose Love

I don't usually post other than journal pages here, but this warrants a nod:
This link will take you to a beautiful affirming song that FairyWebMother shares from her website.
It is about choosing love and joy - a wonderful chant to play when ever you need clarity and support in moving forward in this not-always-easy journey of life.
Click, listen, and be blessed:

http://www.blissfulexpressions.com/IChooseLove.htm

self portrait collage

What are you up to today?



"What is right for one soul may not be right for another. It may mean having to stand on your own and do something strange in the eyes of others." --Eileen Caddy

Enlightenment

What is on your creative agenda today?



"The Life Force experimenting with forms. You for one. Me for another. The Universe has shouted itself alive. We are one of the shouts." --Ray Bradbury

Why would you not choose a life that you love?

"Searching is half the fun: Life is much more manageable when thought of as a scavenger hunt as opposed to a surprise party." --Jimmy Buffett

to dread or not to dread. . . .

My beautiful niece came to visit and her lovely blond hair was in dreadlocks. I mention this, and I journal about it, because it is something I have always wanted to do.
If you have very thin frizzy hair, which runs in our family, dreads are a great way to tame the beast.
But it is the sort of thing you can't turn back from - for that bit of hair, it is a bit permanent -- the only way to not have dreads is to grow it out, and cut it all off, so I have not been quite ready for the commitment.
But I am getting very close.
It is time my physical self reflects more what my internal self is -- and that is a person who laughs at convention, and doesn't mind showing the world.
and my niece gets a special bead from each place she visits and puts that in her hair somewhere, and I totally love that idea, too.
Beads in the hair - why the heck not?

We wandered around NYC a bit, and I took some photos and collaged it in my journal:



"The fisherman knows that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient reasons for staying ashore." --Vincent van Gogh

memories, creativity, and moving forward

This is the season of back to school shopping, as my 14 year old, who, unbelievably, is starting high school in two weeks, is acutely aware.
I saw this photo of a lunch tray somewhere on the internet, and I had to get it, print it, and play with it in my journal.
The memories associated with that lunch tray are so intense - years of schooling, years that I was struggling with who I was, who I wanted to be, how to fit in as an intuitive creative person in a school structure that didn't reward those kinds of talents.
Seeing my youngest start high school feels like a milestone; one that helps me see my place on the path where I am in wisdom and experience and reflection, and not so much of being any more the in fray of child rearing.
I've done that for 25 years, and it is now time for the next chapter in my life.
My journal helps me see all this with a simple collage about that high school lunch tray.
How do I know all this?
I find a photo, I print it out, cut and tear and glue it down.
I add some color and words and doodles.
Then, I see some truth.
Trusting the process has taken me a long long time of practice, but it sure feels good to know I am getting somewhere; that this Fall when new beginnings are afoot, I can trust all that intuition, I can trust those wanderings to take me somewhere good.



"I'd like to write the way I do my paintings, that is, as fantasy takes me, as the moon dictates." --Paul Gauguin

dreaming of adventerous wanderings . . .

So I am reading a remarkable book called Born to Run, by Christopher Mcdougall, about an ancient hidden tribe of long-distance runners living in isolation in canyons of Mexico.
This sentence really got my attention:
"In 1983, a Tarahumara woman in her swirling native skirts was discovered wandering the streets of a town in Kansas; she spent the next twelve years in an insane asylum before a social worker finally realized she was speaking a lost language, not gibberish."

There is a story there worth telling.
How did she get to Kansas all alone?
Did she run there? (They have been known to run over 400 miles without stopping. . . )
What did she do after being released?
and how crazy is our world when a sane person spends 12 years locked up because no one can understand the words they are saying?

I think we have lots of things back-asswards.

Separation is the problem, connection is the solution. . . .



"All day I think about it, then at night I say it. Where did I come from, and what am I supposed to be doing? I have no idea. My soul is from elsewhere, I'm sure of that, and I intend to end up there." --Rumi

just be.

"Thanks to impermanence, everything is possible." --Thich Nhat Hanh

The New York Times Fall Style magazine. . . .

I don't often get my inspiration from the fashion world.
But when the NY Times Fall fashion magazine shows up in the newspaper, the colors and images along with the very thinness of the paper just makes me need to tear it up and glue it down in my journal in a collagey mess.

and while I certainly don't buy into any of that marketing machine that makes me feel less than Goddessy for being my very imperfect, flawed, large, aging self, I can use some of their pretty images, torn and ripped and messed with, to express my own love of things paper and colorful.
It can all be part of my dialog with the world -- in the world but not of it, is one way to use these images to think about things.

and look - some good came of it in my journal:




"That which is not slightly distorted lacks sensible appeal; from which it follows that irregularity – that is to say, the unexpected, surprise and astonishment, are a essential part and characteristic of beauty." --Charles Baudelaire

faces

What is it about faces?
I can never get enough faces. I used to draw them all the time and have gotten out of the habit. Last night our journaling group met, and these pages just happened.
When I work in community, things seem to happen that I don't expect, which I love.
It is partially that I am taking the time to work slowly because we have two hours and there are not ten other projects calling to me like when I am here in the studio.
but also, it feels like some energy from the other journal artists seeps into my brain, and influences my own work.
Always for the better.
This is one reason I love to work in our group.
These faces also came because I was thinking of that song that says we are stardust, we are infinite.
The hubble telescope space picture is part of the background, and the faces seemed to just emerge.
My journaling, once again, surprises me.




"We all start out knowing magic. We are born with whirlwinds, forest fires, and comets inside us. We are born able to sing to birds and read the clouds and see our destiny in grains of sand." --Robert R. McGammon