No such thing as a failed *creative* (yes, I mean you.)
When stressed, we have a choice - eat and go back to bed, or make something.
The last few months of this quarantine, I have done both.
The food did not feed me as much as the creativity.
But I have to work at NOT feeling like I am a failed creative.
Because what I do does not always get embraced by the world.
I love writing poems, but really only have one or two I even like.
I love to paint, and worked on that skill for decades, but the shows I had did not sell very well, and I found it was a bit too stressful to make the work public.
I took ballet in high school, the teacher always poked my chubby tummy.
I played guitar, that was fun, but I don't even remember any songs. Well, maybe a few bars of Stairway to Heaven.
and a little bit of Blackbird.
I worked for years at creative journaling, made some books, shared lots of images here on this very blog. You might have noticed I am not here that much. Or you didn't notice, because the YOU I am talking to might not really even be here. at least, not any of you seem to comment. So I have no way to know if you are here or not. For a long time I thought that meant this blog was not successful. But guess what, it is successful for me. I succeeded in making this blog and expressing myself here. It has been a nice record of some of my creative ideas.
In terms of interfacing with the world, I do have an agent, and they love my graphic work, they represent me and try to sell my images to put on things. So I have a few cell phone cases with my collage art. Kinda cool.
I wrote a children's book about whales, which I am really proud of.
Now I teach. Because the bills need to get payed. and I do enjoy teaching and feel successful doing this.
but I really need to turn to creativity to really be the most authentic me. Society does not reward creativity, at least, my creativity doesn't seem to have taken off. At least in the world's eyes.
But I am saying all this to tell you that there is no such thing as a failed creative. Don't think the world needs to acknowledge what you do.
Do it for you.
Do it to put that voice that is uniquely yours into the world.
A friend of mine who does a blog on creativity asked if I would be a "sample" counseling client.
I wondered why she did not chose me as an inspirational guest with my own creative ideas to share . . . . but okay.
I was game, and we chatted for her blog. She gave me lots of nice ideas.
I am happy to let go of ego and put my vulnerabilities out into the world.
and I will always need to create.
Words.
Poems.
Drawings.
Paintings.
Paintings of whales.
Dreams.
Gardening.
Cooking.
Go out there and do it.
"Let the beauty we love be what we do."
and let the creativity itself be your reward.
