I took my mom to see the movie "Yesterday." (Fantastic, sweet movie, go see it) and when we got home we watched Ron Howard's documentary "Eight Days a Week" about the Beatle's touring years. (Fabulous movie.) In both movies, the stress on creativity was shown, weather famous and successful or not, our creative process can really be interrupted by life.
In my case, I am coming out of the biggest life changing event I have ever faced. I have always needed creative work, I drew and drew as a kid, in high school I took ballet and dance, guitar lessons, and painted and drew. As an art major in college, I was in creative heaven as painting became my actual academic work. Then, feeling the need to earn a living, I got a second undergrad and then a graduate degree in architecture. But while writing my architecture thesis, I actually started writing a novel on the side, I simply needed the creative outlet to stay sane! (That should have been a clue about my upcoming aborted architecture career. . . )
Through decades of jobs and kids, I always had sketchbooks and visual journals nearby. When we moved to Colorado, I plunged into painting, had some some shows, and 3 years ago published a book about whales illustrated with my collage art, which I think is the best work I've ever done. I took a job teaching English 4-8 AM on line, which gave me my days free for art.
Then, the accident. My daughter was in a life threatening car accident. In the hospital for 7 weeks, then the long process of healing from a traumatic brain injury. BOOM, our lives were different. I had to keep the teaching job (medical bills!!!) But something happened to my creativity. It took some time off. My psyche was busy reevaluating everything in life. They always talk about near death experiences rewriting our lives, this one did for me. I just couldn't or wouldn't or didn't, I don't know which, paint or draw or do any creative work. Even my visual journal lay dormant.
Then thinking about these two movies we watched, although not at all about how tragedy interrupts creativity, had a glimpse of where I finally am now in my creative life. Both showed that life events can block us. I am happy to say I am taking a 6 weeks reboot to kickstart my creativity. My daughter is fine, and after 20 months I am able to step back and let her live her life independently again.
In a week I am leaving for 2 dog and cat sitting jobs in FRANCE! Two weeks in the South in Aix and four weeks in Brittany in Nantes. I still will be teaching online there (gotta pay those bills) but it is a chance to reconnect with drawing and painting (or whatever flows.) That little fat cardinal watercolor up there happened last week, I finally picked up my paints, and out he came. Then a friend (love you, Shell) told me she had been seeing cardinals lately and she loved it. Yes, that is the spark I needed to light the fire. That is how art makes connections and gives us meaning. The little cardinal showed me again the joy of creating something that speaks to others we love.
So France, here I come! I will be inviting the creative muse back into my life. The Universe, it turns out, does give us what we need. Trauma can move us forward, although certainly not fun or anything we seek out. I am so filled with gratitude for the outpouring of love, the evidence of the power of prayer and shamanism through the last year and a half, and I understand now that fallow times only make the fields more fertile.
France, HERE I COME!
