Back to basics . . . .

Visual journaling for me has been a progression, and a many-years-long adventure.

When I first started keeping a journal (back in middle school!) it was spiral notebooks filled with words. In college and architecture school, I had sketchbooks and idea books, but these did not get to the essence of what I wanted to say, they were just a place to take notes, a place to record what other people were saying.

As I started on this visual journaling path, I added pictures and sketches to illustrate the words.  I started to let my right brain/sub-conscious tell me secrets through the process of letting my mind wander, letting my creative brain take charge. Words then became less common. Images took over.  I found that there was a pre-language place in my brain, and by collaging and painting without direction, I could more easily access the creative and non-verbal, it felt like I could access secrets and discovery of things my rational self didn't always have access to.

I still work this way, but sometimes, to shake things up, it's nice to go back to the beginning, and let the spiral of evolution bring the work to a new place.  I can start with lots of words, then see what happens after that.  It's good to shake it up, to not get in a rut, to try new ways of working.

I recently attended a workshop based on Spiritual ideas; not art. Some of the speakers were artists, and I listened closely to what they had to say. One in particular got my attention. She has lots of interesting talk and ideas. I ended up sitting with her at lunch, wanting to hear more about her process. When I got home, I looked up her website - there was nothing there. I was not surprised. It is so easy to talk about art, it's so hard to do it.  Don't listen to others who declare themselves masters. Find your own work inside yourself, keep at it, work long and hard.

If you are serious, you will punch in and work a solid 8 hour day.
If you are serious, you will keep at it even when frustrated, or bored, or scared.
If you are serious, you will work through the anxiety and doubts.
You will learn to follow through with your ideas, and not just have them.
Doing this, you not only contribute to your own evolution, you contribute to the evolution of us all. How many of us really commit to the process of finding our truest voice?
of finding a totally unique and personal way to express ourselves?
Doing this is a huge gift to the world.
Make your work and your life a gift. Don't just follow others' shallow talk, find your own evolution.

I am going back to basics a bit - putting words on paper.  Then working through with my ideas to completion, seeing where I am to go.

Stop reading about art on the internet.
Go make some.

Namaste.

What does it mean to fall in love with your own imperfection?

I've been learning about Wabi Sabi.
Wabi Sabi is the very hard-to-define Japanese sense that the imperfect and impermanent aspect to things is of great beauty and importance.
Think of an ancient oak table - the nicks and scratches and discolorations make that table all the more epic.  A brand new raw unscathed chunk of oak would not have the same gravitas, the same history, the same aged beauty.

We all are damaged - how can we get through life without nicks and bumps?
and some whoppers of scars and yes, a few colossal mistakes?
Now imagine that all those scars and bad decisions and character flaws and less-than-perfect physical traits are the very things that actually make you beautiful?
Hard to do, isn't it?

When I was a kid, I stuttered.  I was horrified whenever in the middle of a sentence my words stuck. It felt like my brain was short-circuiting.  It felt terribly embarrassing, and the curious expressions on other people's faces as I struggled to make words come out of my mouth embarassed me.
I also was a sort of chubby, messy kid.  My clothes didn't always fit right, my hair was really hard to keep neat (it still is a frizzy nest), I didn't always understand hygiene.  I think most kids are like that, but all of these things upset me.  That stuttering chubby kid did not feel much self love.

Cut ahead a few decades - I learned to polish it all up - I straightened my hair, learned to talk more fluently, took showers and groomed myself.  Ta Da.  I am now okay, I thought.
Then, this last year, my stutter came back.
I can not tell you the horror that fills my brain when it gets stuck on a word.  It doesn't happen very often, but it does happen.
and believe me, I notice it.
I even went to a neurologist to see if anything was wrong.
Nope.
She didn't think I stuttered (it didn't happen in her office.)  She said not to worry about it.
But I worried.

Then I started learning about Wabi Sabi.
and not only am I learning that what makes us imperfect makes us beautiful and interesting, but also that the challenges we face and overcome make us much more interesting people.

Those stretch marks?
Signs that I birthed three amazing children.

Those freckly age spots?
Signs that I have spent lovely decades outside enjoying being in the sun.

Those chunky thighs?
Signs that I am not now and never will be thin, but that my body type is beautiful as it is.

That frizzy hair?
A sign that there is room for all types in this world, not just straight-haired blonds.

I am not quite ready to be thankful that I stutter.
But I know that the old oak table with marks and dents and nicks has stories to tell.
and it's character makes it so beautiful.
All of our blemishes make us beautiful.

So I am working on embracing my Wabi Sabi.

This Ted Talk given by Cheryl Hunter explains it in a powerful way.

What will you put on your blank page?  Fill it with all your imperfections, your Wabi Sabi.

What gives you joy?

That is what you should be doing.
I'll say that again -- What gives you joy? That is what you should be doing.

Why is this so hard to sink in deeply? I seem to do a thousand things before settling down into my studio:  reading Facebook, twitter, some cool threads on reddit, watching youtube interviews of celebrities, getting some coffee, maybe a chocolate, doing some dishes, organizing my files, stacking up my journals and looking at them, maybe another chocolate.
and oooops, the day is mostly over.

Focus and intention are my biggest challenges.
What are yours?

WHAT MAKES YOU COME TO LIFE?
Ask yourself this question, whenever you are given any choice or opportunity.
Ask: "Will saying YES to this path bring me closer to the source that brings me to life? Or will it take me further away?" No matter how alluring, no matter how beautiful, no matter how sparkling and fancy and delicious — do not say YES to other people's dreams.
Do your own thing.
Live in your own waking dream. Stubbornly.
Even if it means not washing your hair for a week. (ESPECIALLY if it means that!)
--Elizabeth Gilbert