Tuesday, August 30, 2011

in the flow.

Lately I have had many closed doors; teaching jobs, graphics clients, galleries, even workshops and selling my books -- lots of starts but nothing really taking off and flourishing in a way that makes me feel like I am on the right path.
Five galleries since I moved to Colorado have embraced my work, yet, there were very minimal sales, and not much support once the work is on the wall.
I have tried pushing other outcomes, and they just seem to dry up.
There has been lots of frustration, fear, and doubts as many of my ideas don't lead to anything that "works".
In life, I know we knock at many doors, and when one opens, we decide if we want to go through and take that path. My last few years have been lots and lots of knocking in lots of different places.
I am listening to what works, and for now, just working in my journal, gardening, and taking care of my health is what the water seems to be flowing toward.
I have tried pushing other outcomes, and they just seem to dry up.
So I am, instead, going with the flow of personal journaling, and taking care of myself.
So much of what we hear is to just believe and make things happen, to relentlessly push for an outcome if we want something. The self-help philosophies in books like The Secret seems to say if we believe hard enough, it will come to pass.
But I would like to believe in the right thing.
I want to walk in correct relationship with all life.
I want to walk knowing I am on the RIGHT path, not just the path that feeds my own ego.
The goal is not for worldly success for me right now, as much as I would like my work to be seen and appreciated.
The goal is to do what I am called to do, and do it always in right relationship,
and the teaching/selling/showing path has not been so abundant for me lately.
What is working now are these pages, and working outside with the plants.
So that's where I will be.

"Four Rules For Life: Show up. Pay attention. Tell the truth. Don't be attached to the results." --Angeles Arrien


  1. These pages certainly are working, they're beautiful as always! Although I wish I had more time to devote to my personal creative projects, I am spending my days homeschooling one daughter, trying desperately to get another daughter who now goes to 'real school' to spend time with me(I'm losing her;-)) and loving my high-maintenance baby daughter to pieces. I remind myself often that they will grow up too fast and I will regret not holding and loving them if I try to spend too much time on my own projects. There is a time for everything. Thanks for your post!

  2. Chelsy - as you no doubt know, the time with your children is precious and fleeting. There will be time in the future for the other things, so you are wise in your choice! and yes, we do "lose" our children one day, I am learning the art of letting go, of giving them all the love and support I can, while also letting them be their own people on their own path. It's not an easy thing to do as a mother, but I'm learning. I read recently that after they turn 18 there is only ONE thing you ever need to say to them: "I am sure you will choose the right thing." So hard not to give advice! and I think this phrase is already the only thing my 16 year old needs to hear. . . .
    thanks, as always, for your comment.